How to deal with negative and toxic people August 18, 2015

Everyone has been through it, nearly everyone knows one or has one in their closer environment. Some people just seem to be impossible to get along with. It may be because they spread negativity or they are really exhausting others with their behaviors, or some of them are just plain rude and cannot be trusted because they start drama wherever they go. No matter what the reason is, chances are when you read this article you have someone in your personal life or at work that is just a pain and you are unsure on how to handle them. So here is some advice for you on how to deal with negative and toxic people:

1. Cut them out of your life if possible

First things first, if there is any way at all – get them out of your life! Negativity is contagious and negative people can really annoy or upset you on a regular basis. If you cannot cut them out of your life, try to limit the amounts of time you have to spend with them. Any display of toxic behaviors in your relationships should be a warning sign for you to let go! Do not take any form of abuse from anybody.

2. Ignore negativity, but set boundaries

This is another form of distance you can apply to negative people. If there is no physical distance between you, be distant in your interactions when they are displaying negative behaviors. Do not engage in negative talk with them and maybe even ignore their negative talk towards you to a certain degree, let them vent and stay calm about it. Try not to get down to their level and get involved in endless discussions, but if the lines are crossed (yelling, insults etc.) set clear boundaries and stand up for yourself.

4. Call them out on it

Do not take their shenanigans and let them know that their behavior is inappropriate and unacceptable. You do not have to let people treat you badly, for whatever reason. But choose your battles wisely and stay in control of your own behavior and emotions. Do not raise your voice and stay calm. Leave and take the high road when things start to get heated, do not get down to their level. If there is no possibility of a constructive conversation in the first place, choose not to have one.

5. Confide in others

Talk to supportive people and ask for help if you are in a situation where you need somebody else’s perspective on the situation at hand. Do not let bad events eat you up from the inside, ask your friend if they have time to talk to you and confide in them with your problems. And maybe they can even help you find a solution or see something that you have missed? Sometimes it is also a good idea to have the support of other people in conversations. If it is a social setting, maybe you can have somebody around you to avoid one on one conversations with the person in question?

6. It is not about you

Most negative and toxic people have serious problems with themselves or others. Their behavior can be very irrational and hurtful. The important thing is for you to realize that what it comes down to is that is probably has nothing to do with you at all. You were just there. I know that it is very hard, but do not let negative people affect your state of mind and your overall positivity. They are not worth your time, energy or friendship.

7. Stay positive and kind

Do not let others influence you to become negative yourself! Instead, remain kind and respectful in your interactions with difficult people. Try to be compassionate and think about the battles, negative and toxic people face every day. Whether it is with themselves or others, there might be an underlying problem or struggle there for them to act this way. And chances are, the negative behavior they display towards others is just a sign of their own unhappiness. But do not let meetings with them affect your own mood. Stay in control of your own thoughts and actions.

Just treat them like you treat other people when you interact with them. Stay calm, kind and positive! If they are not, that is their choice…


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