How to deal with failure November 4, 2015

It is no secret that life can be pretty rough on all of us. Some people may seem like they have it all but nobody’s life is perfect. There are always ups and downs and you never know what a person went through to get where they are now. Everybody has problems and insecurities, everybody has their own share of struggles in life.

Although admittedly, most of us are doing pretty well in comparison to many people worldwide who deal with misery beyond the imaginable. And chances are, if you are reading this you belong to a group of people with access to the internet, a roof over your head and you are in no immediate danger to your life or have to fear for your family’s or your own safety because of war, the political situation where you live or no access to any form of medical care.

But do not get me the wrong way. You are still going through tough times and it is legit for you to feel down sometimes and feel bad for what you are going through.

But how do you deal with it when you’re going through tough times? How do you cope with rejection, the bigger and smaller losses in life or utterly failing at something? Because this is what the most important thing is: Not to never fail or never make mistakes, but to get up again after you are down and to grow as a person after suffering a loss or making a huge mistake.

The key to living your life when it gets tough is to focus on what lies ahead of you today.

It is completely fine to stay in bed or feel sorry for yourself for a day or two, but after that you need to push through and get on with your life. Put the ice cream back in your freezer and go for a walk instead.

You have probably experienced one or two bigger crisis in your life or dealt with some rough stuff in the past already, and you managed somehow. Life can get to all of us but you will get through whatever it is. Be good to yourself and remember that you will be alright. You will get past this and end up being okay. I believe in you.

So how can you deal with the aftermath of failure better? Here are some tips:

1. Analyze the situation and accept the way things are.

Do not live in denial and do not lie to yourself. If you made a mistake, own it. But do not let it take over and do not let it define you. You are not a failure because of a mistake. You are not defined by your mistakes or the things you failed at. Depending on what it is you may even try it again. But accept the facts and make peace with the situation. Focus on the things you can work on and learn from the situation and your mistakes.

2. Self-compassion and recovery period

Be good to yourself. Take time to heal and allow yourself to feel sad about your situation. Spend some time to do things you enjoy doing and do not obsess over your mistakes and the bad situation.

3. Stay optimistic.

Try to see things in a more positive light. Focus on what good things might come out of this. You may have learned what you can change or might see what else you can focus your energy on instead. Try to see things for what they are and do not get caught up in the idea that you cannot get out of your slump again. You can do anything you set your mind up to do and you can always change your life for the better.

4. Motivate yourself and move on.

Believe in yourself and believe in your dreams. You can move on from this situation and learn and grow. Mistakes and bad situations do not define you. You can come out stronger from the bad experiences you are going through. The future is not set in stone and if you feel bad about the mistakes you made along the way, you should see them as lessons.

5. Finding humor again and remaining positive

Focus on the positive things in your life and what you have going for yourself. Try to find your humor again. Maybe you cannot laugh about your bad situation just yet, but you can still try to not let the situation drag you down over a long period of time. You will find things to smile about again.

6. Relieve the tension and cope with the stress.

If you feel stressed out or tense, you should try to find ways to relieve your stress levels. Exercise or schedule a wellness weekend. Pamper yourself or blow off some steam in the gym. Maybe you still need to vent about your misfortune? Let it all out once and for all.

7. Believe in yourself and your own strength.

You need to focus on other things instead of overthinking the past. Do not dwell on negative things and instead plan for your future. Believe in yourself and your goals and find your strength again. Believe that you can accomplish things and do not let mistakes define you. You can still remain positive and move on from the situation. Life goes on and you will be okay.


Photography by © Counselling / Pixabay

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